I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How does one acquire holy water?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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