I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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