Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
