It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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