Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize