All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
