I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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