Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
3pm strippers are depressing
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
