Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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