Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
