census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
