shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
