I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just found puke in my bra..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
