it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
