are you so shy because you have an std?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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