Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
