Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
