Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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