what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
