So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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