I love black thongs
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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