he wants to bone in the snuggie
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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