Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
