Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sext me about skeletons
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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