Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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