That's when you crack a 10am beer
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
