Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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