either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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