Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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