i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
