the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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