Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.

(1-857): View more from Massachusetts

Doors?

(857): View more from Massachusetts

Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.

Fav 6 2647 1188
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(410): View more from Maryland

You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.

Fav 17 3496 913
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.

Fav 5 5732 974
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(970): View more from Colorado

But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.

Fav 27 3089 1723
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.

Fav 4 2072 1147
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(636): View more from Missouri

Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.

Fav 3 1180 689
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(940): View more from Texas

Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.

Fav 2 1019 665
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(571): View more from Virginia

CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.

Fav 6 322 605
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(224): View more from Illinois

I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.

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