I'm drive I can fine osifer
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
