I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila