We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp