I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
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Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking