party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
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Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
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I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.