i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
