dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
