My brain says no but my pants say off.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
