if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
