There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
