he thought i was a dude.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
