Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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