I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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