i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
