we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
