Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
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So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
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Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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