My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
