Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
