So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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