could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
