Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
