I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
