I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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