why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
