Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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