idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
