Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
