My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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