? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
