A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize