Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
